Boordy Wine is definitely the most popular Maryland wine in the Baltimore area. Please don't confuse popular with good. Frankly, most of the wine made in the Maryland area is cooking wine at best. Still, going up to Boordy Vineyards for Mothers Day was thoroughly relaxing and I can see where there's potential to make a visit to Boordy. I realize Boordy doesn't have to change its formula because the lemmings come in droves, but here's how I would do it.
BYOB. This the universal party acronym that will make a restaurant or boring event a success. You see Boordy only lets you drink their fermented grapes. If I go next year, I'm sneaking in whatever booze I want. It's really not that hard because most of the people there really don't give a damn.
Then I would get a better band. That shouldn't be too hard given the product they put out this year. No disrespect to the 60's and 70's, but this band managed to pick out all the music I really don't need to hear. Thankfully we were on the opposite side of the property so I couldn't make out some of the songs through the throngs of gimps in search of a tree to hug. This band did manage to change it up just in time its go to selection of Jimmy Buffet jams. My fins don't go left or right and in my paradise, there are no cheeseburgers.
The next logical step would be to 86 the kids. This is a no-brainer. One day I will have kids, I realize that. But I don't so I will prolong the hate as long as possible. Really, I don't hate kids though. I hate parents who have absolutely no control over their spoiled and undisciplined kids. And to the guy who thought throwing a softball with his girl in the middle of that sea of humanity, make sure of these two things. Teach your girl how to throw and learn how to catch.
Still the event was a success. Everyone in our tribe had a really good time and the grub was correct. BTW, I now put Redner's fried chicken right up there with Royal Farms.
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